I Sometimes Wonder If I Will Be Lonely

When my personal space finally becomes my own again. I'm not sure what I will do. Maybe I will start hearing voices that aren't really there instead of the three little ones I hear constantly now. Or maybe I will start having to take a stuffed animal or something with me to the bathroom, so that I won't be alone. It is crazy how you wait and wait and wait for your kids to be able to talk to you and once they can, you just wish you could shut them off every once in a while. My days are filled with constant chatters of "look at this" "what's your name (don't ask about this one, I thought it was so cute weeks ago and now I just want it to go away)", "I need (fill in the blank, but usually it is milk, water or my butt wiped)", etc. The other day I was trying to unload the dishwasher, a relatively mundane task, right? And I pretty much just snapped and banned all people under the age of three from the kitchen until the task was completed. The kids are constantly checking out what I am doing in the bathroom (which is sometimes reading People a little bit longer then neccessary just to get away for a moment or two) and today when I announced that I was going to take a shower (why do I even announce such things) I got two bathing buddies in the form of Ben and Maddie. That's right, the shower isn't even sacred anymore. So anyway, I'm so accustomed to having someone accompany me everywhere and of having constant chatter going, I'm not sure I will know what to do when it is gone. Granted, this will be a LONG time from now, but believe it or not Ben is starting preschool on Tuesday which makes me realize when people tell you time flies with your kids, they are not joking around. Maddie also thinks she is attending school, so it should be an interesting first day drop off. We had to take Zach back to the doctor this week and turns out he did have an ear infection. Antibiotics seem to be kicking in and he seems to be doing better. We take him back at the end of next week for his 6 month checkup. I'll be curious to see if he has made it to the 125th percentile yet;)